Maybe I’m just denying it to myself and to others because I messed up before and I am aware that it’s a bit late for us to happen now.
I really really can’t stop crying right now so I really have to let this out here.
I might get my first 5.0 ever just hours from now and I’m really really scared. I don’t know how to face my family, I don’t know how will I say it to them. They will be disappointed, as in DISAPPOINTED. Their expectations for me are too damn high and I really feel crappy with the fact that I am so close in breaking all the expectations they have for me. I am shaking right now, I’m really scared. I’ve tried e-mailing my professor asking for whatever re-consideration he can give me but I feel like it’s hopeless. I don’t want to disappoint them and I don’t want to disappoint myself. I know that some of you might think that I am overreacting because it’s just one failed subject but you won’t ever understand my position in my family. You don’t know how they see me and how their hopes are for me. I really can’t help it, I am shaking and crying right now. I don’t know what to do. This is all my fault. I’m really really mad at myself. Why didn’t I take this more seriously. I am full of regrets right now. And I feel so devastated. I don’t know what to do. This is all my fault, this is all my fault. I suck. I’m hopeless. I’m devastated.
It would be so much easier pe We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/104957326
"You won’t know a person’s worth until he/she is gone."
It’s like wanting someone after realizing that he doesn’t want you anymore. You see, when you know that someone cares for you, you won’t give much effort in trying to keep him because you know that he cares about you so he will just be there, he won’t leave you. But soon, he’ll get tired. Well, who wouldn’t? You don’t appreciate him anyway. And when he’s gone, it’s like a trigger will be pulled inside you making you realize how much you don’t want to lose that person. Then, you’ll start to care back. You’ll start to make efforts for him. You’ll start to want him. But he doesn’t care anymore. He’s tired, he’s not there anymore. And then, you’ll regret everything, thinking that you should’ve appreciated his worth back then. And now it’s too late, it’s too late.
That cliche saying up thereee is just working too much for me. I don’t know how it’ll reach you, but I hope you’d know.
Hi, can I miss you?
What happened? I have no idea of what happened or if I did anything wrong. I don’t know who built this stupid huge wall between us. I miss you, I really do. I miss the cheerful, the bully and the loud you. Remember how close we were before? It just feels bad that now, you can’t even start a conversation with me. It’s as if no talking will be done if I won’t initiate it. What happened? What did I do? Can you please tell me because I’m really going crazy just thinking about it. I miss you, I miss who you were before. I am really hoping that someday, you and I could be that good of friends again.
I’ve told this to a friend and he told me that maybe I am liking you already. I’ve tried to think about it but nope, I can’t get an answer. I don’t know if I like you but I know how much I care about you. I know how much I care about you not being the way you were to me before. And I know how much I miss that version of you. Talk to me, tell me everything i need to know. I really miss you buddy :(